Abraham and Job

Abraham and Job both had incredible faith. God either tested or allowed the faith of both men to be tested. Abraham was willing to give up the one thing he had been waiting for his entire life. He was willing, with his own hand, to destroy the very thing that God had promised him; the one person upon which he had placed all his hopes and dreams.

Job did not have a choice. Job was a godly man, who cared for his family more than anything else, excluding his relationship with God. God allowed this to be taken from him suddenly and without warning.

Which trial would be more difficult? For Abraham, he had to make the choice between God and God's promise, Isaac. This choice must have been excruciating to make, especially since he had a few days to think about it. After he made the choice, he had to kill Isaac with his own hand. Yet he still had a degree of control, he could have refused to sacrifice Isaac to God.

On the other hand, Job had no choice, he was a victim of circumstances and had absolutely no control over what happened to him. He was completely powerless and not only did he lose his family, he lost all his possessions and his health as well. Once one loses their health, it makes it infinitely more difficult to make right decisions.

Both men kept their faith and did not deny God what he asked for. Both men were rewarded similarly, but differently. Abraham was allowed to keep that which we was willing to give up. The ram appeared and Isaac lived. God gave Job his health back and another family.

It seems to me that Abraham's reward was greater than Job's. Abraham had surrendered Isaac to God but received him back. Abraham's joy must have been even greater than when he first received Isaac. Yes, Job received another family, but he still had to deal with the memories of his first family and the emotional scars of his trial. He did not receive that which he lost, but replacements. I wonder if Abraham's greater reward is an indication that his trial was greater?

More on Abraham's trial coming soon...

Zen

I've recently been curious about the Zen philosophy (thanks to the TV show Life) so today I picked up Zen and the Art of Happiness and started reading. Very interesting. I liked it. I only read about 40 of the 100 or so pages but a couple of key concepts stood out to me.

First, the author encouraged the reader to believe and accept as truth this statement: Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that could happen. He argued that if we react negatively to what seems to be a negative or bad event in our lives, then we make decisions that will cause more negativity. However, if we view an apparently negative occurrence in a positive way, then we will make decisions that cause positivity. Besides, he argues, with the advantage of hindsight, most negative events actually cause good that cannot be seen until time has passed.

The second statement that caught my attention was something to the degree of "The universe [the source of energy for this world] only does good, not bad." The author did not expand on this statement, but used it make the point that the only negativity comes from ourselves, which comes from a negative life philosophy (the paradigm we each live in that is created by our individual attitudes, perspectives, and notions; usually subconsciously).

Reading these two things I realized that this is not too different from the way I think. I believe that God (the source of energy for this world) is good and only does good and that "All things work together for good for those who love God" (which would include me). When something that seems bad happens, I try to take the attitude of "This will only make me stronger or better," or "God's trying to teach me something." While I may pretend to be a pessimist sometimes and I'm definitely no optimist, I do believe that everything that happens happens for a reason and that because I am God's, nothing that happens to me is harmful to me. It may hurt, but ultimately, it's only for my own good.

I guess I'm kinda zen...

The Surrender

For more than five years I resisted. I avoided it both actively and passively. I refused to give in when it was the cool thing to do and I remained stubborn even when I had good reason to relent. I've mocked and ridiculed those who caved to that against which I so passionately stood fast.

But now I find my resolve weakened. I feel no pressure to stop resisting; only a strange desire to do so. I haven't discovered some compelling reason to make me I feel I need to swallow my pride and do that which I swore would never happen; I just don't care anymore.

After all, it's just a stupid blog...

With that, I would like to introduce my blog. Here it is. Blog meet reader, reader meet blog.

Hello.

The main reason I am starting to blog is that my mind doesn't stop thinking. It is always analyzing something, always searching for a puzzle to piece together, always looking for a problem to solve. This was great while I was in school (university if any of my non-Americans find themselves reading this) as I could apply my overactive mind to my work; it would analyze paper topics and then figure out how to convey those ideas in written form; it would consider the information gathered in lectures, deciding and absorbing what was relevant (i.e., what would be on the exam), and discarding the rest; and it would analyze the professor and his or her teaching style to determine what was the absolute minimum work necessary to obtain the desired grade. Thus, my hyperactive mind had a full gym with which it could occupy itself.

The completion of my dissertation, however, has left this over thinking mind with no purpose. Nothing to analyze; nothing to reason for or against; nothing but trivial subject matter to digest. This has cause me to over think everything. And I mean everything. Tasks that were simple enough before can now cause analysis paralysis as my mind tries in vain to find some angle or perspective that was previously unthought. I've found that my overactive mind cannot even shut off so that I may sleep. In order to surrender to the unconscious bliss that I love so much I must lay with my eyes open and find some problem to solve. Once my mind becomes engaged in the process of deciding what the most efficient and aesthetically pleasing way to arrange my bedroom furniture I am able to slip off to sleep. It is not having the solution but the process of finding the solution that allows me to escape conciousness. The puzzle is often left unsolved for the next sleepless night.

This is why I am starting this blog. If I must think, I am going to do so outside of my head. Nothing is fully analyzed, nothing is solved, nothing is complete until it leaves the mind and is offered in contribution to a conversation. Thus, this blog will be my conversation. If this conversation is to have only one member (that would be me) it will still serve its purpose. I'm not trying to pursuade people, provoke thought, or even share my thoughts. All I am doing is seeking an outlet for my mind. If others desire to observe what goes on in my head or if they wish to engage in this conversation they are more than welcome.

I guess we'll see where this goes...